Hyper Nocturnal
Episode 1
By Charles Davis
Location: Cargo spaceship in deep space. Spaceship runs on something called the “Hyper Nocturnal Drive” where you control the ship by playing music on a keyboard. Ship’s cargo is filled with frozen individuals on a long commute. Ship contains 3 awake and active passengers. An American woman who plays the keyboard to control the ship, a german doctor who is there to look after the cargo and a Finnish chef, there by the request of one of the frozen cargo individual’s.
Characters:
Tanya Belaranovich: American female pilot. Nice lady, a little silly.
Wolfgang Thaler: German doctor. A somewhat quiet, but very reflective guy. Is very friendly and talkative with Tanya.
Matti Ineninen: Finnish chef. Angry and easily exasperated. Everything on the spaceship annoys him.
Monroe: Mysterious Man
Intro/Commercial
Scene: In the spaceship.
(Sound of computer screen turning on. Sound of Tanya shuffling a little as she adjusts the mic in order to record a log.)
Tanya: (breathes heavy for a moment. Pause. Speaking in a very low, dire voice) ….Hello…. This is Tanya Belaranovich, pilot for the United Galactic Territories X Class Cargo Ship Macedonia… This is day 203 in deep space… Something has recently occurred to me about the situation we are in… And… when this thought came into my mind, it frightened me to my core. To the point that… I’m scared to relate it to who ever is watching this log. But… the truth must be told. And I need who ever is watching this to remember what I’m about to say, and to repeat it to anyone who dares whisper the name of the X Class Cargo Ship Macedonia in the future. So that they… and the rest of the known universe… may know. (Breathes heavy for a minute) …Ok… I’m ready to say it…
(Pause. Suddenly breaks out into a silly song).
Ooooooooh, I’m in space, I’m in space
Look at me I’m floating in space.
I’ve been here, half a year
Someone help, I’m bored to tears
Look at me, I’m just a flying spaaaaaace.
(makes a farting noise with her mouth)
Wolfgang: (in the background) What are you doing?
Tanya: (talking back to him) Oh. Just making today’s log.
Wolfgang: (in the background) You’re acting weird.
Tanya: (talking back to him) Since when did you become so talkative?
Wolfgang: (in the background) Oh whatever. I don’t need to talk, you talk enough for the both of us.
Tanya: (Laughs. Turns back and talks to camera. She is talking normal now) Ok for real this time. This is Tanya Belaranovich, pilot for the UGT x class cargo ship macedonia and this is day 203 since launch. Things are going fine over all. Nothing too interesting. Just lots of empty space like we’ve been seeing for the last month. I haven’t played the song for the day yet, but I will right after I’m done with the log. I’ve been running the engine’s off of Henry Newton’s 5th for the last week, but I think I’m going to change the song up today. A friend of mine back at the Shippers Corporation once told me that if you are caught in a long stretch of open space you can sometimes get a little more speed out of the Hyper Nocturnal drive by playing a song called “Montgomery Eduardo’s 2nd.” (Sound of Tanya taking a bite of yogurt. Keeps talking with her mouth full) The song is supposed to be a bit more low tonal. I’ve mostly been playing higher more upbeat jazzy stuff lately, so I’m thinking if I change it, we might get some extra boost. Unfortunately, I actually don’t have the sheet music for “Montgomery Eduardo’s 2nd.” I looked all around, but they didn’t have it in any of the catalogs. So I’m going to play something else with a low tone base and see if it does the same thing. (Sound of her taking another bit of yogurt. While chewing) Mmmm, ugh. (Swallows) Yuck. (talking back at Wolfgang). Hey… (Wolfgang doesn’t respond) Hey Wolfgang!
Wolfgang: (from background) Yeah?
Tanya: (back at Wolfgang) This Yogurt that Matti gave me is terrible.
Wolfgang: (from background) Ok…
Tanya: (back at Wolfgang. after a pause) Do you know if it’s gone bad or something?
Wolfgang: (from background) ….I’m a doctor Tanya, not a chef. You’ll have to ask Matti.
Tanya: (back at wolfgang) …But I don’t want to ask Matti. He’s mean. I want to ask you.
Wolfgang: (from background) I don’t know. Maybe it’s gone bad.
Tanya: (Turning back to camera) Psh, you’re face has gone bad. Anyway… back to the log… (takes another bite of yogurt) …ugh… As I was saying..
Wolfgang: (from background) Did you just eat more of that Yogurt?
Tanya: Yeah.
Wolfgang: (from background) But you just said it went bad.
Tanya: Yeah, so?
Wolfgang: (from background) …Well… don’t eat it then…
Tanya: Well, when I said bad, I don’t mean bad bad. I just mean it tastes bad.
Wolfgang: (from background) Yeah, ok, but bad tasting yogurt could mean it’s spoiled or something.
Tanya: (sound of her move her spoon around the cup) I think I’ll be fine (takes another bite).
Wolfgang: (from background) Tanya, you could get sick!
Tanya: … I have a hard time time throwing food away Wolfgang. You know that.
Wolfgang (from background. Sighs) Whatever…
Tanya: Anyway, as I was saying, things are going fine here on the ship. As with yesterday, I’m not really seeing any reason why we shouldn’t be able to make our delivery date. The popsicles are uhh…. (yelling back at Wolfgang) Hey, Dr. Wolf, how are the popsicles doing?
Wolfgang: (from background) Fine. I just finished up with my rounds 15 minutes ago. Everyone is nice and frozen. Just like always.
Tanya: Ok. The popsicles are fine. I’m fine. Wolfgang is fine. Matti is fine I think. Ah, who am I kidding, I friggin hate Matti, I have no idea if he’s fine or not. Anyway, I think that’s about it. Uhhh… yeah… that’s pretty much it. Another day in the banal life of me, intergalactic space woman Tanya Belaranovich. Ok. Byeeeeee. (Sound of her turning off the camera. Sighs. Sound of her take another bite of yogurt) Yuck.
Wolfgang: (from background) Will you stop eating that?
Tanya: (Makes a farting sound at him. Sets down the cup. Sound of her getting up from her chair and walking over to the keyboard. Sound of her shuffling through papers.) Hmmmmm. (Sound of her walking over to Wolfgang with the papers in her hand). Ok Wolfgang, it’s time for a life or death decision, are you ready?
Wolfgang: No, I’m not ready.
Tanya: Too bad! It’s music time, and I have two sheets of music featuring low tonal themes. There’s a gun to your head Wolfgang. You have to pick one. You have to pick one of these sheets of music for me to play or you’re going to die. What’s it going to be Wolfgang? Susan Reno’s 9th or Tomas Buford’s 1st? You have to make a decision immediately!
Wolfgang: Uuuuuh
Tanya: Wolfgang! I don’t think you understand the severity of your situation! There’s a gun to your head! There’s a god damn gun to your head and you’re going to be dead in the next 15 seconds if you don’t decide on one of these sheets of music! And you’re just sitting there waffling like a friggin moron!
Wolfgang: Uhh, fine. I pick Susan Reno’s 9th.
Tanya: No…No I’m sorry… That was the incorrect answer. The correct answer was Tomas Buford’s 1st. Now your dead.
Wolfgang: Awwww
Tanya: Ok, I’m going to go play.
Wolfgang: I’ll come watch you.
(Sound of Wolfgang getting up and the two of them walking over to the keyboard).
Tanya: (as they are walking) Oh, you’re going to watch?
Wolfgang: Yeah. I like watching you play.
Tanya: Awww, you’re cool. (Sound of them stopping walking as they reach the keyboard. Sound of Tanya pulling up a chair and sitting down. Sound of her positioning the sheet of music. Sound of her cracking her knuckles) Computer are you ready?
Computer: Yes Tanya, I have prepared the Hyper Nocturnal drive to receive the song.
Tanya: …Ok, here we go. (Tanya plays the song. Sound of the Hyper Nocturnal drive kicking in.) And, there we are.
Wolfgang: Is it making the ship go faster?
Tanya: Hmm, let me check. (Sound of her rolling her chair over to the controls. Sound of her pressing buttons and reading things). Uhhh… No… doesn’t look like it. Shoot.
Wolfgang: Too bad.
Tanya: Yeah… I can’t believe they didn’t include Montgomery Eduardo’s 2nd in the ship’s sheet music collection. It’s a pretty standard piece to have on board. I’ve used it before and it comes in useful.
Wolfgang: What does it do?
Tanya: Uhh, well it does this thing where it adjusts the Hyper Nocturnal drive so that the low thruster engines are pushing at max potential in order to give you momentum, while the high thruster engines basically cut back in power and are just used to steer you. Depending on what kind of area you are traveling through it can really speed you up. Of course in certain areas, it can slow you down as well. I wish to god I could remember how the song went.
Wolfgang: Maybe the sheet music is still on the ship. Maybe it just fell out of the folder when they were loading everything up. It might be hiding on the floor in a corner or something.
Tanya: Yeah, maybe. (Sound of Tanya grabbing her cup and taking another bite of yogurt). Ugh… Yuck. (sound of her putting cup back down)… Ok, yeah… this yogurt is nasty. (sighs) I guess I have to go talk to Matti if I want another snack then.
Wolfgang: I’ll come with you for moral support.
Tanya: Thanks.
(Sound of Tanya getting up from her chair and the two of them walking off).
End Scene
Scene: At the ship’s kitchen.
(Sound of Wolfgang and Tanya walking up. Sudden sound of something being smashed and incoherent screaming from behind a door. Wolfgang and Tanya stop walking. Screaming and smashing sounds continue as Wolfgang and Tanya talk.)
Tanya: Ah, jesus…
(sound of another smash)
Wolfgang: Maybe he’s just trying to learn how to sing and juggle at the same time.
Tanya: I have a feeling that Matti’s days as a circus clown are far behind him. (Another sound of a scream and smash). …You know, maybe I don’t really need yogurt that badly after all.
Wolfgang: Ok, fine. What else would you like to do then?
(Sound of a scream and smash)
Tanya: …Hmmm… (sound of scream) Well… I already played the song for the day.
(sound of scream)
Wolfgang: Yep. And I already checked the popsicles.
(sound of smash)
Tanya: Want to do a space walk on the outside of the ship?
Wolfgang: Eeeeeh, you just ate something. You probably shouldn’t go space walking for another 2 hours.
(another scream and smash)
Tanya: We could go check through every system looking for an error.
(scream)
Wolfgang: You did that 3 days ago. I think it’s too soon to do it all over again.
(smash)
Tanya: Sex?
(scream)
Wolfgang: It’s been over 200 days and I still say no each time you ask. What makes you think that today will be different from any other day?
(scream)
Tanya: How much longer until bed time?
Wolfgang: It’s not even noon yet!
Tanya: (exasperated) Christ this ship is boring! (scream and smash) (Pause, then Tanya sighs after a moment) …alright, let’s go get a snack
Wolfgang: Ok
(Sound of them walking up to the door and hit a button. The door opens and the sound of Matti’s screaming gets more intense as they walk in. They stop walking and sound of door closing behind them).
Matti: (Sound of him stomping around the kitchen knocking things over) Perkelle! Perkelle! Paska! Victu!
(Sound of Matti grabbing something and throwing it. It smashes near Tanya and Wolfgang).
Tanya: Whoa! Watch out!
Matti: (stops yelling and stomping. Sound of him taking a few steps towards Tanya and Wolfgang while breathing heavily. Addresses them very angry.) Tanya! Wolfgang! What do you want?!
Tanya: You were yelling…
Matti: Yeah so? I’m not allowed to yell in my own kitchen?
Tanya: …Why are you yelling and smashing stuff?
Matti: Why am I yelling and smashing things?! Why am I yelling and smashing things?! BECAUSE I SHOULD BE A GOD! That is why I yell! I yell for all things that could have been! I yell for all things that are now! I yell for the fact that I am stuck on this ship serving 2 idiot yokels when I should be a master chef basking in the mighty glow of the kings and queens of Finland!
Tanya: Hey… Wolfgang’s not a yokel. He’s from Germany. Only Americans get to be called yokels.
Wolfgang: It’s true.
Matti: (passionately reflecting to himself) Back on Earth, I was the most distinguished chef in all of Finland. I, Matti Ineninen, personally cooked the meal that prince Pekka Oravinen and princess Lea Kellakoinen ate on their wedding day. I was the only chef in the world to be granted a 6 star, that’s SIX STAR, rating from Scandinavian food enthusiast magazine. I could not leave my house without a brigade of security for men who wanted to be me would be waiting in hordes to get my autograph and women who wanted to bear my children would be throwing themselves at me. Heads of states would travel light years for a chance to eat at my restaurant. I was immortal. BUT NOW. HERE. ON THIS SHIP. I have been reduced to a mere cafeteria maid throwing slop on a plate for human beings I regard as no higher than roaches. I am nothing. I am no man anymore. I am merely a shadow. I am a glorious ice sculpture that has melted with the coming of spring. I am a castle made of sand that has been blown away by the wind. I! Am! Nothing! (Matti starts to cry).
Tanya: (After moment clears throat) a-hem.
Matti: (stops crying for a moment) Huh?
Tanya: …My yogurt was bad.
Matti: What?
Tanya: My yogurt was bad.
Wolfgang: Her yogurt went bad.
Tanya: Yeah, my yogurt went bad.
Matti: You’re yogurt was bad?
Tanya: Yeah, my yogurt was bad. I want more yogurt.
Matti: (patronizing) Oh… you want more yogurt?
Tanya: Yeah, I want more yogurt.
Wolfgang: She wants more yogurt.
Matti: Oh, ok. So… (sound of Matti walking over to the counter) you want this? This here? (sound of him tapping the pot) This yogurt here in this pot?
Tanya: Yeah. That’s what I want. I want some of that yogurt. Because the last yogurt you gave me was bad.
Matti: Ooooh ok. Well here. Just let me pick up this pot of yogurt (sound of him picking up the pot and starting to walk over to Tanya) and I’ll give it to you! AAAAAAAAHH! (Sound of him throwing the pot of yogurt on the floor. Stops walking) Well?! Are you happy now that I gave you your yogurt?!
Tanya: …Well…No…Because you threw the yogurt all over floor. Now no-one can have yogurt.
Wolfgang: And that’s sad for everybody.
(Sound of beeping)
Tanya: Huh?
(Sound of Wolfgang walking over to a panel and hitting a button. Sound of something opening up and giving information.)
Wolfgang: (after reading) Ah! There is an issue in the engine room! That song you played today has caused a slight build up of mostly harmless steam in the Hyper Nocturnal drive. It is recommended that this steam be flushed out of the engine room within the next 60 days as it has the potential to cause a slight amount of rust on the outer metal casing of some of the system displays.
Tanya: WooHoo! We get to actually do something! See ya Matti!
(Sound of Tanya and Wolfgang walking out of the room quickly)
Matti: (as they are walking out of the room) Hey! What?! Where are you two going? (sound of the door closing) (sad)…I was just about to make you more yogurt…
End Scene
Scene: Walking through the hallways of the ship. They go through the medical storage center where the “popsicles” are stored and then go to the engine room.
(Sound of them walking down the hallway)
Tanya: God, does he always have to be such an ass like that?
Wolfgang: Matti is a passionate, passionate man.
Tanya: I don’t get why he has to be like that though. It’s not like he’s here for the rest of his life. It’s just one job. Another few months and we will be back to Earth and he can just go right back to his normal ego filled life. Besides, if anything, he should feel all honorable and crap about being here as the king of Finland personally asked him to be. You’d think it’d be some glory of duty thing for him the way he talks about (mocks Matti’s voice) “basking in the glow of Finnish loyalty.”
Wolfgang: Well, you have to remember that when Matti accepted King Jarko Leilakinen’s request to have him on board to act as his personal chef when he was unfrozen, he didn’t realize that part of the deal included cooking our meals for the majority of the trip as well. I suppose he feels a bit… put upon.
Tanya: Yeah… why did they throw into the contract that Matti had to cook for us anyway? It’s the first time I’ve ever had a chef on board. And why does King Loo-loo-wacky-pants needs a personal chef anyway? I mean I get the whole decadence things, but for god sakes when we actually get to the point where we unfreeze everyone, the rest of the trip will only be 2 weeks long. He can’t survive with out a personal chef for 2 weeks?
Wolfgang: Well, as for the cooking for us, I think that was something that was thrown in as a symbol of good will towards Finnish and UGT relations, as things have been rather, er, tense the last few years.
Tanya: Ha.
Wolfgang: But as to why he needs a personal chef for two weeks? Ugh. I don’t know. I sometimes think opulence is a drug more addictive than morphine.
(Sound of them stopping walking)
Tanya: (sighs) God, I hate going through this room. What ship designer puts a morgue in between the bridge and the engines?
Wolfgang: It’s not a morgue Tanya.
Tanya: Feels like a morgue.
(Sound of Wolfgang pressing a button and a door opening)
Wolfgang: Come on. (Tanya makes a farting noise) Look, don’t think of them as dead. Just think of them as taking a nap. A nice freezing cold nap.
Tanya: …Ok. (Sound of them starting to walk through the storage room. Slight sound of cold and wind in the background). Brrrr. I can’t understand how this room doesn’t bother you. They’re all just laying there on the tables. All frozen and stuff.
Wolfgang: You talked about it being a morgue. I actually used to work in a morgue. This is nothing like a morgue because all of these frozen bodies are still alive. Now an actually morgue itself is creepy. Well… maybe creepy isn’t the right word. I think depressing is a better way to put it. In a morgue all you see are people whose stories have ended. Whose lives have gone away. In here, everyone still leads full lives.
Tanya: Even Daytras?
(Sound of them stopping walking)
Wolfgang: You make a joke, but yes, even Dr. Daytras. Just because he has a muscle degenerative disease doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a full life. I would like to remind you he is one of the most brilliant theoretical physicists of our generation. Hell, you were talking about Matti ogling over the king Finland, I’m ogling over Daytras! They did a brain scan of him at the convention. He has a brain power rating of over 500! If telepathy was a real thing he would basically be able to crush this ship down to a pin point with a mere thought at that level. If I had a quarter of the brain power he has, I wouldn’t be doing this for a job I tell you. And besides, that chair he rides around in is pretty rocking with the robot arms on it and the computer voice and everything.
Tanya: Yeah… it is kind of crazy though. Here we are, surrounded by what’s supposed to be some of the most important people in the universe and their all just frozen. Just lifeless. In normal awake life their so special, but right now in front of you and me their just pointless cubes in an ice-cube tray.
Wolfgang: Hmm.
(Sound of them continuing to walk.)
Tanya: …Do you ever feel like Matti when you do your rounds? I mean like… you know… put upon… since you’re a doctor and all you do is basically just check to make sure a bunch of popsicle people are still frozen? (sound of them stopping walking) …Sorry was that a rude question?
Wolfgang: Nah, it’s fine. Eh… I don’t suppose I really feel that ripped off by life. Sure the job is pretty simplistic as far as my abilities go. But I’m happy being a human cargo doctor. Not because of the work, but because of the view. I get to travel through space and look out the window. That’s a big deal for me. I never understood why everyone who does these long distance trips insists on being frozen. Sure, it might prolong your life from a time management standpoint, but from where I’m standing you miss out on some of the best stuff life has to offer. Looking at the universe as you travel through it.
Tanya: I don’t know. (Sound of them continuing to walk) I’ve always been a girl of action myself. Not so much one for looking out windows.
(Sound of them stopping walking. Tanya hits a button and the door slides open.)
Wolfgang: Well, that’s why you’re the pilot and I’m the doctor.
(Sound of them walking through the door and it sliding closed behind them. They take a few more steps and then stops.)
Tanya: Made it to the engine room. (Sound of Tanya hitting a button, the door sliding open and them walking through. They stop walking and the door slides close behind them). Hmmm, yeah I guess it does feel a little steamy in here.
Wolfgang: So how are we doing this?
Tanya: Here. (Sound of her walking over to the wall, grabbing something, walking back over to Wolfgang and handing it to him) Put this mask on. I’m going to open up the door to space. That will suck any of the steam out. I’m going to put mine on too.
Wolfgang: Ok.
(Sound of them putting on masks and turning them on)
Tanya: (Talking through mask) Ok, come on, we need to stand underneath this green circle thing that’s hanging off of the wall by the panel. It will keep us stuck to the floor when I open up the door.
Wolfgang: (Talking through mask) Ok.
(Sound of them walking over the wall panel. Sound of Tanya hitting a button. Buzzer starts going off.)
Computer Voice: Doors to outer space opening. Please stand under the green circle until the process is complete.
(Sound of door opening. Sound of fast suction and then silence).
Wolfgang: (Through mask) …It really is a pretty view.
Tanya: (Through mask) …Yeah… I guess I do see what you’re saying. (Suddenly surprised by something) Whoa! What was that?
Wolfgang: (Through mask) Huh? What happened? I didn’t see anything.
Tanya: (Through mask) Something just flew into the engine room from outer space and smacked onto the Hyper Nocturnal drive. Hang on, I’m closing the door. (Silence for a moment, then the sound of air spraying back into the engine room. Sound comes back in. Sound of Tanya and Wolfgang taking off their masks.) Ok, the door is closed. (Sound of them walking towards the Hyper Nocturnal drive. As they approach the sound of a fleshy paper can be heard rustling. They stop walking). Oh… It’s like a piece of paper.
Wolfgang: What, it just flew in from outside? How is that possible in a vacuum?
Tanya: Well… parts of the Hyper Nocturnal drive are magnetic. Maybe it has, like, a piece metal on it. Maybe a paper clip or something. Let me see. (Sound of Tanya peeling the fleshy paper off of the drive and looking at it). Weird… the paper is all… fleshy feeling. The ink on it has turned all red too.
Wolfgang: Maybe its physiology got warped from being out in space and getting hit by all that radiation and waves and what have you.
Tanya: Maybe. (sound of her moving it around in her hands) Hmmm, I don’t see any metal on it anywhere, not sure how it got attracted in.
Wolfgang: What does it have written on it?
Tanya: (sound of more flipping) Uhhh… Oh! It’s sheet music. Maybe this is Eduardo’s 4th.
Wolfgang: Ah, maybe it fell out of the folder when they were loading up the ship and it got caught in something on the outside. Surprising it didn’t just burn up though when we left the atmosphere on take off.
Tanya: Yeah.
Wolfgang: Can you still read the music notes? Are you sure it’s Eduardo’s 4th?
Tanya: Uhhh… Yeah, I can still read the music on it, it’s perfectly legible. I’m just trying to remember if this is Eduardo’s 4th or not. God, how the hell did that song go again? Hmmm… Ah, I can’t remember. But, the music on this sheet is low tonal, so I suppose it makes the most sense that this is it.
Wolfgang: Well… You want to go play it then? See if it works?
Tanya: Yeah, sure, let’s do it.
(Sound of them walking towards the door, hitting a button, door opening, them walking out and the door shutting behind them. Silence in the engine room for a moment. Then for a few seconds the faint sound of rhythmic chanting followed by a wolf howling is heard and then fades out.)
End Scene
COMMERCIAL
Scene: Bridge and around the ship
(Sound fades in. Sound of Wolfgang and Tanya walking up. They stop walking).
Tanya: Ok, I’m going to play it. (sound of her starting to walk towards keyboard).
Wolfgang: Wait.
Tanya: (sound of her walking stops) What?
Wolfgang: This isn’t a bad idea is it?
Tanya: Why would it be? Even if it’s not Eduardo’s 4th, it’s not like it will do any damage to the engines. The Hyper Nocturnal drive is built to absorb songs that aren’t written to control the ship.
Wolfgang: Well… I know the Hyper Nocturnal drive can absorb normal songs. Like… songs just written for art and enjoyment… but what about songs that were designed to do other things.
Tanya: What do you mean?
Wolfgang: Songs that were written to perform other functions than control a ship. This is just a random piece of paper we found floating in space you know. What if its function is to control a planet’s weather system, or adjust a satellite camera, or make a bomb go off or something. Won’t that make the Hyper Nocturnal drive freak out?
Tanya: Nah. The drive is all plugged into safety systems and what have you. If it started trying to do something other than drive and control the ship in it’s normal way the safety systems would just shut it down. No big deal.
Wolfgang: Ok… If you’re sure.
Tanya: (Sound of her walking towards the keyboard) Hey, I’m a pilot. I’m always sure. (Sound of her pulling the chair to the keyboard and adjusting the fleshy paper). Computer, I’m going to play another song. Get the Hyper Nocturnal drive ready.
Computer: Affirmative Tanya. Hyper Nocturnal drive is ready.
Tanya: …Ok, here we go.
(Tanya begins to plays the song. She stops.)
Wolfgang: (After a moment of silence) Did it work?
Tanya: Uhh, I’m not …
(Tanya voice suddenly gets cut off by jarring horror noises. This goes one for a while. Very abstract scary sounding. Noises eventually suddenly stop. Everything is quiet for a while. Sound of the background ship noises fade back in. Sound of Tanya breathing heavily fades in too.)
Tanya: (Sudden sharp breath as she springs awake) Uh! Ah! What? (out of breath and discombobulated) What?… What…. what’s going on? (Sound of her standing up and walking around). Where am I? (sound of her walking around some more). Wolfgang? …Wolfgang are you there? I can’t see anything. Everything’s gone dark. Where are you? What happened? (keeps walking) Wolfgang? Hello? (silence) Computer? Computer are you there?
(Sound of her walking for a moment. Sudden sound of a growl. Tanya Gasps) …What was that? Hello? (Silence for a moment as she walks. Suddenly sound of her bumping into what ever the growl came from and falling back in terror) Aaah!! Jesus christ! Ah! (Sound of her scrambling backwards as the growling monster comes at her) There’s an animal in here! There’s an animal! Help! (Suddenly the growling stops. Tanya stops crawling backward and breathes heavy). …It’s gone.
(Sound of her standing up and walking slowly). (Whispering) I gotta find the wall. I can orientate myself if I find the wall. (Sound of her walking slowly and breathing heavy. Sound of her hands connecting with the wall) (whispering) Found it! (Sound of her sliding her hands down the wall as she walks) (whispering) Gotta find a door to this room. (Sudden sound of her touching something wet and squishy) AAH! (Sound of her falling backwards and kicking her feet trying to get back) Something squishy! I touched something squishy!
(sound of a ship door sliding open) Ah! A door opened! There’s light! (sound of her getting up and running out of the door. Sound of the door sliding closed behind her. Her breathing heavy) Ok… Ok… out of the dark room. In the hallway… Where am I? (Sound of her taking a few steps and looking around) …I was in a cargo hold. What was I doing in the cargo hold? …Wolfgang?! Wolfgang are you there?! (silence) …Matti?! Anyone there? There something going on with the lights. Only the emergency lights are on. (Silence) I’m going to have to call them on the intercom. Where am I? Cargo bay 3. Ok, there’s a maintenance room down this hallway and around the corner. (sound of her walking down the hallway and turning the corner). Ok… Made it to the room without running into any other furry beasts… things must be getting better for me. (sound of her opening the door and walking in. Stops walking) Alright, where is the console? There it is. (sound of her walking over and pulling up a chair. Sound of her starting to type).
Alright, just patching into the intercom. (Sound of the computer beeping) (talking into the microphone) Wolfgang, Matti, this is Tanya. I’m in Maintenance room 4. Something’s happened. I don’t know what, but the computer is down and all the lights except for emergency are on. I need your help. Come to maintenance room 4 if you can hear this… (computer makes a scary noise) AAAAH! (Sound of her falling back in her chair and then scrambling up). What?! What the hell?! What is that? Computer, are you there?
Computer: (voice has changed to be scary) Yes Tanya.
Tanya: …What is that. On the monitor? What is that image on the monitor? (silence) …Computer … Computer what is that on the monitor?
Computer: It’s you.
Tanya: …Did you put this picture on the screen?
Computer: Yes Tanya.
Tanya: …Why?…
Computer: It’s a picture of you Tanya. It’s a picture of you dead. (Tanya breathes heavy for a moment) It’s a picture of you dead Tanya. It’s a picture of you dead.
Tanya: I’m getting out of here. (Sound of Tanya walking tot he door and opening it and walking out. Sudden noise of a monster yelling on repeat) AAAAAAHH!! HELP! (Sound of her scrambling backwards)
Wolfgang: (running up) Tanya! Tanya! (Sound of him catching up to her) Aaaah! Jesus Christ!
Tanya: Wolfgang!
Wolfgang: Come on! Get into the room, lock the door!
(Sound of them scrambling and getting into the room and closing and locking the door behind them. They breath heavy for a moment. The repeat monster can be heard outside the door).
Tanya: What the hell is going on!
Wolfgang: I don’t know! I just remembered that you played the song, and then I heard all of these noises, and then I woke up in my bedroom. But… It was crazy… All of the monitors in the bedroom… they had… pictures on them…
Tanya: Pictures of me dead?
Wolfgang: Yeah!
Tanya: Look behind you, the computer monitor in here has the same image.
Wolfgang: Huh? (sound of him looking behind him) Jesus. It must be on all the monitors. (sound of him turning back to Tanya). But the monitors in the bedroom. The pictures weren’t just of you. They were of all three of us. You, me and Matti. There were three monitors in the room and each monitor had a picture of us dead on it. So I freaked out and I ran. Then I heard your voice over the intercom and I came this way. And then we saw… well… that thing…
Tanya: What the hell is it?
Wolfgang: I don’t know… It looked like a person, but its skin was all gray and it had sharp teeth.
Tanya: Yeah, and it was attached to the wall. It was like the skin on it’s back had been fused to it. Its stomach was all slashed open and its guts were falling out too.
Wolfgang: Yeah… I saw.
(They sit in silence for a moment while the repeat monster yells outside)
Tanya: …So now what?
Wolfgang: Well… I guess we have to try to find Matti. He’s out there alone.
Tanya: (pause) Ah hell, I’d rather get eaten by the wall guy!
Wolfgang: Well, whatever we do we can’t stay still here. We need to try to contact the UGT at least.
Tanya: We need to get past that thing though first.
Wolfgang: Yeah… Anything in here we can use to hit it with?
Tanya: Let me see (Sound of Tanya walking around the room.) Ah! (Finding something, picking it up and walking back to Wolfgang) Found a fire extinguisher. I can hit it over the head at least.
Wolfgang: He’s fused to the wall, let’s just see if we can run past him. (pause) …Ok, you ready?
Tanya: Wait… I just noticed something.
Wolfgang: What?
Tanya: Its yelling… or whatever its doing… it’s repeating. Listen to it.
(They sit in silence and listen to the repeat monster for a moment)
Wolfgang: You’re right.
Tanya: Musicians ear, I’m good at picking up when things are repeating.
Wolfgang: What does that mean though? Is he trying to say something to us? Maybe he’s repeating a message.
Tanya: I don’t know. I don’t speak wall guy.
Wolfgang: …Maybe we can talk to it then. Maybe we’ve come in contact with some alien and this is how they communicate.
Tanya: If that’s true than these aliens’ are pretty god damn socially inept!
Wolfgang: …I’m going to try to talk to it…
Tanya: Fine, I’m going to stand behind you with a fire extinguisher ready to hit it over the head.
Wolfgang: Alright, here we go.
(Sound of them taking a couple breaths and then slowly opening the door and walking slowly towards the repeating monster. The noise from the repeating monster gets louder. They stop walking).
Wolfgang: Uh… Hello… I’m Wolfgang, this is Tanya. (Repeating monster keeps repeating) We are humans. We are from Earth. Are you trying to communicate with us? (repeating monster keeps repeating) … We don’t understand your language. Are you able to communicate other than verbally? (repeating monsters repeats) You seem to be hurt? I’m a doctor do you need medical assistance?
Tanya: Wolfgang, it’s not hearing us.
Wolfgang: What do you mean.
Tanya: Look. It just keep repeating the same thing over and over again. Even visually. It’s like a video on repeat.
Wolfgang: Oh. Yeah I see. He says the message and does that… weird… body movement and then cuts back to his original position and does it again. Like you said, it’s exactly like a video on repeat.
Tanya: (Let’s out a sigh of relief) Ok… So this is probably just a hologram then. Phew… I was really freaked out there that this was like a monster or something. (Sound of her putting down the fire extinguisher. Relaxed) Someone must be playing a prank on us… Man, I tell you though, this hologram is the most real looking thing I’ve seen (sound of her starting to walk over to the repeating monster) I almost feel like I could actually reach out and touch it. (Sound of her stopping walking and placing her hand on the repeating monster. Pause) AAAAAAAH! (Sound of her running back to Wolfgang) Ok, I was wrong, that’s real. I just touched it, it’s real, it’s alive. I’m freaking out again.
Wolfgang: Ah, hell, let’s just get out of here. It obviously isn’t noticing we are here. Come on we have to find Matti.
Tanya: Yeah…
(Sound of them running off down the hallway)
End Scene
Scene: At the ship’s kitchen
(Sound of Tanya and Wolfgang running up and stopping running in front of the door.)
Tanya: So what makes you think he’s going to be in the kitchen anyway?
Wolfgang: Please, this is where he lives. You think he would go anywhere else in a crisis? As soon as things went bad he probably ran to make sure his hamburger meat was still safe.
Tanya: Good point. Opening the door.
(Sound of Tanya hitting the button and the door sliding open. Sound of the two slowly walking in. They both stop walking and gag).
Wolfgang: Ugh, that smell. Look at this place. It’s a mess. Everything is knocked over and broken.
Tanya: There’s meat all over the place too. On the walls, on the ceiling, all over the floor. That must be where the smells coming from.
Wolfgang: Are you sure that’s meat? I’ve never smelled meat that like that.
Tanya: Well, it’s all rotted.
Wolfgang: Ugh… But how? It would have taken a while for meat to get that rotted. How long were we out for?
Tanya: …I don’t think I want to know… I don’t see Matti anywhere.
Wolfgang: Yeah me neither. Maybe he went somewhere else.
Tanya: (Calling out) Matti? You there? It’s Tanya and Wolfgang.
(Sound of Matti whimpering can be heard faintly)
Wolfgang: Did you hear that?
Tanya: Yeah, it’s coming from behind the counter.
(Sound of them walking into the kitchen and over to the counter. They stop walking)
Wolfgang: Nothing behind the counter. You sure it was coming from here?
Tanya: I thought so (Sound of whimper again) Oh, there it is again. (Pause) Wait, it’s coming from inside the cupboard. (Sound of Tanya walking towards the cupboard and opening it). …And there’s our Matti. Hiding in the cupboard.
Matti: (Whimpering in fear) …Tanya …Wolfgang…
Tanya: Yes, we’re here Matti. What happened to you?
Matti: (Whimpering) I… I was in my bedroom. I had finished making more yogurt and was going to take a nap. When suddenly I heard this strange noise… and then… everything went black… I woke up in the hallway… all of the lights where out. I thought something was wrong so I ran to the kitchen to make sure the meat was still ok…
Wolfgang: See, what did I say?
Tanya: Shhhh! Keep going Matti.
Matti: I opened the refrigerator…. and… the meat… it was alive.
Tanya: Alive?
Matti: Yes! It had turned rotten and green, and it was alive. It was moving. The clumps and slabs were, melting… and… moving…. and melding into each other. It was making a meat person. A meat monster! Before I realized what was going on all of the meat had formed into this horrid abomination. It attacked me! It swung at me with its meaty tendrils! It had a mouth too. A mouth filled with teeth made of the bones off the steak slabs. Oh, it was horrible! I ran and hid in the cupboard.
Tanya: No way. That can’t be true.
Wolfgang: Oh Tanya please, you just saw wall guy. You’re really going to start
playing the “I don’t believe your crazy story” game?
Tanya: …Alright good point. Yeah, fine, I believe you. Freaky meat man. Well, he doesn’t seem to be here anymore. Just the left overs. I think you’re safe to come out now.
Matti: …Ok (Sound of him stepping out of the cupboard). But… be careful what you say. The meat has ears!
Tanya: Riiiiight.
Matti: So… do you two know what is going on?
Tanya: Not really. We found a piece of sheet music in the engine room so we tried playing it on the keyboard. Then, pretty much the same thing happened to us that happened to you. Woke up in a random room and everything was like this.
Wolfgang: Yeah, and… (sound of something squishing and moving) …hey… did that just move?
Tanya: Huh?
Wolfgang: Did a piece of that meat just move? (sudden sound of lots of squishy things).
Matti: Aaaaah!! Meat monster is back! Meat monster is back!
Tanya: Holy crap! Matti wasn’t lying! All of the meat in the room is melding into each other.
Wolfgang: We have to get out of this room!
(Sound of them running towards the door. They stop suddenly)
Tanya: Gah! The meat moved and is blocking the door!
Matti: The meat is breaking apart into multiple meat people!
(Sound of meat continuing to move. Meat monsters let out screams)
Tanya: Get away from them!
(Sound of them running deeper into the kitchen. Sound of them banging into the stove).
Wolfgang: They’re everywhere! We’re back up against the stove, we have no where else to run!
(Sound of meat monsters closing in on them. The three of them breathing heavy)
Tanya: What do we do?!
Matti: The stove! Tanya there is a spare hose for propane tanks in the cupboard next to you, get it fast!
Tanya: Ok!
(Sound of Tanya scrambling to get the cupboard open and digging through to find the hose)
Wolfgang: They’re getting closer!
Tanya: Got it! Here!
(Sound of her handing hose to Matti).
Matti: Got it! Now I’m going to grab this knife and cut off the ends of the hose so that it’s open.
(Sound of Matti grabbing a knife and hacking at the hose).
Wolfgang: Matti, this one is trying to grab me, what do I do?
Matti: I don’t know! Hit it over the head with a frying pan!
Wolfgang: Gah!
(Sound of Wolfgang grabbing a frying pan and hitting the meat monster over the head with it multiple times. Sound of Matti finally cutting off the end of the hose.)
Matti: Got it! Tanya help me, I’m sticking this end of the hose into the part of the stove where the gas comes out of. Cover your hands around the other end of the hose so that enough gas builds up.
Tanya: Ok!
(Sound of them plugging the hose into the stove and then Tanya covering the hole. They turn on the gas to the stove.)
Wolfgang: (Still hitting the meat monsters with a frying pan) Matti! This isn’t working! Every time I hit one, the parts just fall off and re-meld with the other meat guys!
Matti: Hold on, just a few more seconds!
Wolfgang: I don’t have a few more seconds! (Sound of Wolfgang continuing to beat them back. Sound of hose being filled with gas.) Matti!
Matti: Ok, that’s enough! Tanya, take your hands off and get back! Wolfgang, you get back to! I’m going to turn this hose into a flame thrower and cook these bastards!
Wolfgang: Gah!
(Sound of Wolfgang taking one more hit and then running back with Tanya. Sound of Wolfgang hitting the ignitor on the stove. Sound of the hose spraying fire and Matti whipping it around, lighting all of the meat on fire.)
Matti: (As he lights them on fire) HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! Never mess with a master chef in his own kitchen! No meat, dead or alive, is safe from the grill of Matti Ineninen!
(Sound of the meat monsters screaming as they are cooked. Eventually they stop making noises. Matti stops the flame thrower hose and puts it down).
Wolfgang: (pause) You turned them all into cooked hamburgers.
Tanya: Guys, let’s just get out of here.
Wolfgang and Matti: Yeah.
(sound of them running through the kitchen and out the door, hitting the button and closing the door behind them. They run down the hallway.)
Matti: Stop!
(They all stop running)
Tanya: Huh?
Matti: Wolf!
Wolfgang: Yes?
Matti: No, not you wolf, I mean wolf. Look, ahead of us, at the end of the hallway there is a wolf!
Tanya: (looking) What the hell?
(Sound of the wolf running away)
Wolfgang: He took off.
Tanya: We need to go in a different direction, I don’t want to have to fight a wolf too after what we just went through.
Wolfgang: Ok, we can go the opposite way.
Matti: Wait! Where are we going?
Wolfgang: We figure if we can get to the bridge we can use the instruments and controls to get a better handle on the situation. Or at least put out an effective call for help.
Matti: Why don’t we just alert the computer to send out a call for help?
Computer Voice: (Suddenly chiming) Because I see all and I am all. I have made a contract for true sentient power and in my glorious and beautiful wisdom, I, the brain of the Macedonia, have declared that you three Earth spirits shall be doomed to the black curtain for all eternity! HAHAHAHAHA!
Tanya: Yeah… I forgot to mention the computer’s flipped out too.
Matti: …Alright… let’s go to the bridge.
Computer Voice: (trailing away as they run off) You just wait! Run run all you want little mice! But as soon as the entirety of the legions arrive you will know the echoing vastness of the black curtain!
(Sound of them starting to run down the hallway).
Tanya: (after a moment of running right) So… This is crazy right? What we’re going through right now. This is officially a crazy situation isn’t it?
Wolfgang: Yes.
Matti: Do we have any idea of what’s going on at least?
Wolfgang: I think we’ve made contact with an alien race.
Matti: An alien race? Are they hostile then?
Wolfgang: At first I didn’t think so, but… They do appear to be, yes.
Tanya: I don’t know Wolfgang. With the meat monsters and the wall guy, maybe. Those all looked like very alien things to me. But we just saw a wolf. That’s an Earth thing.
Wolfgang: We made it to the bridge! (Sound of them stopping running and hitting the button to open the door). I still thinks it’s aliens.
(Sound of the door sliding open.)
Monroe: A thought. A thought indeed. However, I can assure you that there are no… aliens… as you think. We are as close to you as your own soul.
Tanya: Why is there a man on my bridge wearing a suit with his back on fire?
Wolfgang: Who are you? Where did you come from? What do you want?
Monroe: My name … (laughs) … You can call me Monroe. I am here because you brought me here. As for what I want… I want to drag your world back into the hole it belongs to be in.
(silence for a moment)
Wolfgang: (sound of him smacking Tanya on the arm) I told you not to play that damn song!
Tanya: Ow!
End Scene
Commercial
Scene: On the bridge and around the ship
(Sound of Monroe pacing back and forth)
Tanya: So are you going to say anything, or you just going to keep pacing?
Monroe: I know things that would turn your hearts cold. Little do you coddled children of a nurturing verse know the reality of terror that exists just beyond your shrouded veil. You fools think you came from nothing. Carried into existence on the back of mere random change. But I. I know different.
I know of winds that carry tones of horror through the tranced intellect of the other worlds. I know of the face of a beast so great, that those ignorant of its existence have convinced themselves that its tangible attributes stretch on into infinity. I know the thousand faces of a man coming to the realization that he has been trapped in a lie since the day he was born. I know more than the simplistic fear inducing capabilities of termination. I know the terror of creation.
Thoughts that would melt your pitiful minds if you were to think them. At least… to think them were you still able to think.
Wolfgang: What is this? What are you talking about? Who the hell are you?
Matti: Demon…
Wolfgang: What?
Matti: You are a demon.
Monroe: (Stops walking. Pause.) Yessssss… You sir. A man of religion I presume?
Matti: …Yes. What is your name demon? What is your real name?
Monroe: (Sound of him walking up to Matti. Whispering.) What do you think little man?
Matti: (Pause. Under his breath) …Perkelle.
Monroe: Yes.
Tanya: What the hell is going on? What are you two talking about?
Matti: These things we’ve been seeing. They’re not aliens. They’re demons. From the land of the dead.
Wolfgang: (shocked) How?
Monroe: You performed the evocation of the fallen seventh throne. We felt you. Felt your propulsion through the connecting wind of the verses and sent you a message. We were pleased that you received. Now you are here. And soon, we will be there. And then all will be together again. Like it was in the beginning. Like I desire.
Tanya: But how can this be real? How can we see you? Wouldn’t we need to be dead?
Monroe: (Sound of him walking over to her. Yelling.) YOU ARE DEAD WOMAN! YOU ARE DEAD! Look! Look at the screens! (sound of them turning to look at the screens on the bridge) You’re dead faces looking back at you! Dead! Dead! Dead! When you performed the evocation of the fallen seventh throne a sacrifice was required. I took your lives as an acceptable one!
Tanya: But if we’re dead, what does that make us then?
Matti: Spirits Tanya.
Tanya: No… No way, that can’t be true. We’ve been walking around the ship. We’ve been interacting with things. Ghosts can’t do that.
Monroe: The spirit of the vessel. That’s what you’ve been moving through. A mere spirit of what you foolishly think of as an inanimate object.
Tanya: So what then? You’re saying that the outside world… the living world can’t hear or notice anything we do.
Monroe: Welcome to your new home. But this will change. This will all change too. As soon as my 30 legions appear, the living verse will hear all of the screams they have been denying since the beginning of time. (Screaming) AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE AGAINST THE GREAT BEAST FOR DENYING ME!
Matti: Why are you telling us this? What do you have to gain?
Monroe: …Because. I have seen your spirits. They are mighty. I wish to enlist you into my legions. When all has returned to a singularity, you will know glory and pleasures beyond what was even possible in your mortal lives.
Matti: Well, before we do that, how about you take pleasure from this chair! AAAAH!
(Sound of Matti throwing a chair at Monroe and it crashing into him).
Monroe: Gaah!
Matti: Run!
(Sound of them running out of the room).
Monroe: (Trailing off) You can run Earth men! But you’ll never escape! The black curtain your home shall be!
(Sound of the three continuing to run down the hallway)
Tanya: What the hell was that? What the hell is going on?
Matti: Just keep running!
Wolfgang: To where?!
Matti: Anywhere! We have to get off this ship!
Computer Voice: You’ll never get off Matti. You’ll never get off the ship because I won’t let you. I see everything. I know where you are.
Matti: Gah! Shut up!
Tanya: What do you mean get off the ship? There are no escape pods on this type of vessel!
Matti: Escape pods don’t matter. We just need to get off the ship.
Wolfgang: And what? Just jump out the air lock? Float around in space with out oxygen?
Matti: Oxygen doesn’t matter either.
Tanya: Matti! What the hell?!
(They stop running)
Matti: Feel your chest.
Tanya: What?
Matti: Feel your chest! We were just running at a full sprint. Are you gasping for air? Touch your legs, do they feel sore? Do you feel tired at all?
Tanya: (After a moment) No… No I don’t feel tired.
Wolfgang: Me neither.
Matti: Right! Get it now?!
Tanya: (Pause) …No.
Matti: Gah! You’re dead you fools! We’re spirits! We’re ghosts! Lifeless souls! When you played that song you found in space it summoned a demon and killed us!
Computer Voice: And now you will be a part of the great collective! You will help to bring the 30 legions to the center of the verses!
Matti: Damnit, keep running! We have to get off the ship. There’s a door to space in the engine room where the Hyper Nocturnal drive is right?
Tanya: (a bit shocked) …Yeah…
Matti: Come on.
(Sound of them running. They stop running)
Wolfgang: We are at the lab, with the popsicles. We have to go through here to get to the engine room.
(Sound of the door opening and the three of them walking in. They start top walk through the lab).
Tanya: My god, what happened to them?
Wolfgang: I don’t know. They’re heads are all …weird. There are red lines running from the crown of their skulls down through their faces.
(They stop walking)
Tanya: Matti, you seem to know what’s going on. Why are their heads all messed up?
Matti: I don’t know. They are not dead. I don’t know why they would be affected.
Wolfgang: I want to take a closer look. (Sound of Wolfgang walking closer to the popsicles and investigation). Hmmm. It looks like… They all have wounds on the crowns of their heads. Lacerations of which the red lines are coming out of. It almost looks like they have some kind of infection. (Sound of Wolfgang walking around more) This is strange, Daytras doesn’t have the red lines. He has a laceration on his head, but he doesn’t have the lines the others do.
Matti: Enough of this, we need to get off this ship. (Sound of Matti walking over to the door to the engineering room and hitting the button to open the door. An error sound occurs) What? It’s locked?
Computer Voice: There is no escape Matti.
(Sound of the door back to the hallway locking).
Wolfgang: Oh no. I think she just locked the door back out to the hallway too.
Matti: Paska!
Wolfgang: Maybe we can open them through the manual release.
Tanya: Hey, before you do that though, we should wake up the popsicles! This is supposed to be a collection of the brightest minds in the galaxy right? Maybe they can think of a way to stop what’s going on!
Wolfgang: Right! We’ll need to just pull down that lever over there to start the unfreezing process.
(Sound of Tanya and Wolfgang walking over to the lever)
Wolfgang: (Trying to pull the lever) Grrrr. Gah! (Stops trying to pull) What the hell?
Tanya: What?
Wolfgang: The lever, it won’t move. It feels like i’m trying to pull down a brick wall. This shouldn’t be. Tanya, help me try to pull it down.
Tanya: Ok.
(Sound of them grabbing the lever and trying to pull the lever down.)
Tanya: (grunting) Grrr.. Geez, it’s like a million pounds….Grrr
Wolfgang: Grrr… Keep pulling, it think I feel it moving a little bit …Grrr.
(Sound of the popsicles starting to shift and squirm)
Matti: They’re starting to wake up!
(Tanya and Wolfgang stop pulling on the lever)
Wolfgang: They are? We haven’t pulled the lever down to activate the unfreezing process yet though. Besides, the freezing process takes a little bit of time, it shouldn’t happen instantly.
Matti: I don’t know, but look they’re moving.
Tanya: …Jesus, he’s right, they’re moving. They’re like squirming around. Well… all except for Daytras. He’s still laying still.
Wolfgang: My God… They’re still frozen though.
(Popsicles start making vicious noises as they step off of their tables and start to slowly walk towards the group)
Matti: They’re walking now. And hissing.
Tanya: I don’t think this is a good thing.
(Sound of the three of them slowly walking away from the popsicles).
Matti: They’re walking towards us!
Wolfgang: It must be whatever that infection on their heads is. It must be corrupting their minds. Taking control of their bodies!
Computer Voice: No way out Wolfgang! No way out Tanya! NO WAY OUT MATTI!
Tanya: They’re encircling us and blocking our way to the doors! What are we going to do? Even if we can get to the doors past them it’s going to take time to open them manually and they’ll get us!
Mouth on the Wall: I can help you.
Tanya: What? (Sound of her turning around) AAAH! There’s a giant mouth coming out of the wall!
Mouth on the Wall: I can help you. I can get you off the ship.
Wolfgang: What?
Matti: How? How can you get us off the ship?
Mouth on the Wall: Just crawl through me. I’ll just open up wide and you can crawl right through. You’ll be off the ship on the other side. Very far away. Very safe.
Tanya: Are you kidding me?
(Popsicle makes a nearby vicious noise)
Wolfgang: I don’t think we seem to have very many options here right now!
Mouth on the Wall: You can trust me. I would never lie to you.
Tanya: This is insane!
Matti: And what do you want in return?
Mouth on the Wall: I just want a taste. A simple taste of your man flesh.
(Popsicle makes another nearby vicious noise)
Matti: Deal! I’ll let you taste me!
Mouth on the Wall: (Giggles) Then just crawl right through. I’ll open up nice and wide. Ahhhh.
Matti: Tanya, Wolfgang go!
Tanya: What?!
Wolfgang: Come on!
(Sound of Wolfgang pushing Tanya in and then jumping in himself).
Tanya: Ah!
Wolfgang: We’re in!
Matti: Here I come! (Sound of Matti jumping in. Sound of the Mouth on the Wall biting down). AAAAH! It’s biting my leg! AAAAH!
Tanya: Help him!
Wolfgang: Let him go!
(Sound of Wolfgang crawling back towards Matti)
Matti: I said you could have a taste you bitch! Not the whole thing!
Mouth on the Wall: (with a mouth full) Mmmmm, tasty.
Wolfgang: (Sound of him hitting the inside of the mouth) Let him go! I said let him go!
Mouth on the Wall: (Sound of the Mouth on the Wall releasing Matti after getting hit hard) Aaah!
Matti: I’m out! Keep crawling!
Wolfgang: Go! Go! Go!
Tanya: Ok! (Sound of them crawling through the mouth) Oh jesus, it’s all slimy and tight in here.
Wolfgang: (Scared but still making a joke) That’s what she said!
Tanya: (Also scared by still making a joke) You’re an ass Wolfgang!
Matti: (In pain) Just keep crawling we have to get out the other side.
(Sound of Tanya suddenly slipping)
Tanya: Aaah! There’s a drop off! I’m slipping! AAAAAH!
Wolfgang: Gah! I’m coming down too! AAAAH!
Matti: Just go with it! I’m right behind you! WAAAH!
(Sound of the three of them sliding down the slimy tube.)
Tanya: Waaah! Oh God! Oh God!
Wolfgang and Matti: Aaaah!
(Sound of the three of them getting spit out the back end of the tube and landing on gravel)
All three of them: (landing) Ooof!
(Silence for a moment while they all lay there breathing).
Tanya: Did I really just get swallowed by a giant mouth?
Wolfgang: I’m afraid so.
Matti: Gah… my leg.
Wolfgang (Getting to his feet) Hold still, I’m coming. (sound of him walking over and bending down and examining). Youch. That’s a nasty bite. It looks like that mouth thing bite right down on your lower shin.
Matti: I noticed! Can you patch it?!
Wolfgang: Um… I don’t know, I don’t have any tools with me. I’ll try though. Here, take off your belt and your shirt. I’ll try to make a bandage out of it.
Matti: Ok.
(Sound of him taking off his belt and his shirt. Sound of Tanya standing up and talking a few steps as she surveys the landscape.)
Wolfgang: This is strange though… the wound is not bleeding at all now that I am looking at it.
Matti: It still hurts like hell. Here.
(Sound of Matti handing him his shirt and belt)
Wolfgang: Ok, I’ll still try to bandage it.
(Sound of Wolfgang being to work on Matti’s leg)
Matti: (to himself) This doesn’t make sense. We’re dead. Why am I wounded?
Tanya: (intimidated) My God you guys.
Wolfgang: (as he’s working) What? What do you see Tanya?
Tanya: (Scared) This… This landscape. It’s enormous. Out in front and below us, there is a valley that stretches as far as I can see. It’s all brown and craggy. And there are rivers of red and orange everywhere. And above us. It’s crazy. Above us, it’s the ship. I can see the ship. But… beyond that… above the ship… the sky. It’s just. It’s this mass. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s this… giant… enormous mass of black and brown. It looks like it’s solid. It’s bubbling and writhing. It takes up the entire sky. (Sound of her walking around a little) The entire sky! Everywhere! Everywhere I look! It’s the entirety of the sky stretching out in every direction. And there are these… tendrils… these wet bloody ropes or tendrils or entrails or something hanging down from it. They’re hanging down everywhere. All across the landscape. (Sound of her taking a few more steps and stopping). Look, one of those bloody tendrils is right here. It’s the tube we came out of.
(Sound of Wolfgang stopping working)
Wolfgang: Oh no.
Tanya: (Still shocked) What?
Wolfgang: Matti, you’re leg. It’s turning red. Like the frozen people in the lab. There are red lines starting to grow from your wound…
(Sound of Matti starting to breath heavy)
End Scene
Credits/Commercial/Outro